well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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