I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
