i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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