where am i from again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
