Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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