Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
