everyone is single if you try hard enough
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He has the fingertips of a God
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