The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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