Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
