Kiss
Puke
I'm really into asian looking animals
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
