Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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