Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My breasts were aching with rage.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
