that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
