i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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