I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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