For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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