If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
