4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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