Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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