Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
