who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it hurts more in the daytime
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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