The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize