I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
