My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
