How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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