I heard we made out
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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