I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm getting married
To pizza
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