What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
