God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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