Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
