You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
