he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
