Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He did a backflip because drugs
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