the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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