Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
