....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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