I wish I could teleport
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize