next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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