I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
