I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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