So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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