he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
