ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
