weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
