Where did you get a picture of my penis
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
His nipple licking is glorious
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