you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
