i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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