My brain says no but my pants say off.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
