Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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