Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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