Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
