Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
