I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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