babies were throwing up all over the place
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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