how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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