I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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