another moral hangover. fuck.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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