Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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