Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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