I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
