i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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