If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize