have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
