Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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