You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize