you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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