Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
